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Happy Birthday

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We all need protein you see,
It’s good for you, it’s good for me,
To us, it comes in frozen bags,
Cleaned, and cut and free of bugs.
We don’t touch it if its sticky,
Not everyone can be so picky.
If protein supplies are low,
They eat it all from tip to toe.
Throat and tongue, the hoofs and spleen,
It matters little if it’s clean.
In such a market far in Hunan
A virus transferred to a human.
From the morass in a bat’s ass
It upgraded to business class
What started as a local epic,
Would fast become a world pandemic.

On January the twenty-first
Emerged the first US Corona Case.
“We’ve blocked air travel,” they declared,
But failed to mention who was spared,
So all abroad cut short their trips,
Crammed into planes without free seats,
Some were coughing, others sneezing,
Here and there, someone was wheezing.
Thousands crammed arrival halls,
Customs barely moved at all.
“It will not spread, it is contained”
Assured our lying president.
“Cruise ships quarantined,” and hence
“We’re safe on land,” thus spoke Mike Pence.

By February, it was onshore,
They could not stop it anymore,
First the west coast, then Chicago,
To New York. to all five boroughs.
It was time to build stockpiles,
Off we went to Costco’s isles,
Filled a cart with rice and legumes,
garbanzo, flour, oil, and sorghum.
Toiletpaper? Don’t be shy.
We should always use two-ply.
Covid spread to Pennsylvania,
Newsome locked down California.
Sheltered in place, and not too soon,
Zoom became our living room.

In March we had some food brought in,
But the rations were too thin,
Two potatoes, sagging carrots,
Not enough to feed two parrots.
Bright and early on your toes
You were first at Trader Joe’s.
Hand sanitizer at the door,
Must wear a mask when in the store.
Asparagus, Brussel sprouts,
Were worth the risk without a doubt.

Passover showed up in April,
But our savior couldn’t make it.
The seder seemed more like detention,
We rushed the plagues and the four questions.
Gefiltefish and kneidlach,
“We have to see the kinderlach,”
Why not reverse the exodus,
And have the family come to us?”
June began the family travels.
First the girls and then their Momma.
Suma pushed and out came Maya,
The girls camped at the JCC,
Ami spent time with Shani,
Itamar kept most his poise,
When Ami snatched away some toys,
Tintin came, it was real cool.
Afternoons all by the pool,
Just to wrap up כתה ג,
They climbed rocks with Hayim Kimel
Two months like a jubilee,
Celebrating virus free.

August came, Yeela flew back,
Osmo came to pick up slack.
September was a time for changes,
Place some bets and make investments,
Since museums were still closed,
Buy some art to fill the walls,
Starting with Aliza’s painting,
With new lighting in the ceiling.
Are there more portraits that you’ll get?
Anna did not paint them yet.
Students dialed back in September,
Distinguishing number and gender.
October’s bad for spending sprees
So shop the neighbor’s lemon trees.
Pick all you want, just don’t get caught,
We need you here to mail your vote.

November came and turned a corner.
Insanity will not last much longer.
The crisis isn’t over yet,
But there is much to celebrate,
In retrospect, it was a test,
Showing us what you do best,
You carried us through this strange year,
From near and far we hold you dear.
We hope you travel, come next year.

Happy Birthday Imma

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtube&v=haw4zESOmQU&app=desktop

The Book of Mormon
Allo?
Yes this is Elder Child
No, I haven’t checked my mail
I don’t have time to look
Allo!
No this is Sufi Fluk.
Yes I’m fine, Hakol Beseder
but I really have to go.
One sec
Now you’re on speakerphone
You have to come home now
this meal will simply  change your life.
Hello!
Yes this is Oskersheesh
Ding dong I am on a date right now
she’s not my future wife
Hello!
You have reached Elder Young
please don’t leave a message
kuz  I wont return your call
You won’t
believe what happened now
You’ll just have to tell me soon
I’m sure you didn’t p[ay
Allo?
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.

Electricity
We can’t really explain it
We haven’t got the words
It’s like she’s always in control
I suppose it’s like we’re getting,
Lectures in our head,
And at the same time,
It makes us feel at home,
And now I miss the chewing,
chewing in my ear,
And I’m listening, and I’m listening
And suddenly it’s clear
Nothing’s ever changed
She’s always on my side
Let’s turn the volume down tho’
you’re impossible to hide
And suddenly I’m trying
trying to be heard
But you’re not listening
Micromanaging
Still not listening
But that’s fine with me

Cabaret
Why get some work done or study today?
When Ima is down to play
You make our problems go away
Never settle for curds and whey
Keep on pajamas and don’t leave your room
The pooch is the place to stay
Seize every moment, enjoy today
And life will go your way
Come hear us whine
Come lend a hand
We need you here
We’ve been debating, your opinion
We’re awaiting
What good’s permitting some prophet of doom
To wipe every smile away
Happy birth-day to you, dear mum
Happy birthday to you!

Joseph
Ima she has a powerful hand
From an early age made us all go to band
We knew we were doomed from the day we were born
Poor little Flink got stuck with a horn
Whatever she did we would put up a fight
But now we admit, we were wrong you were right
No one had rights or a vote but the queen
We hopped in the car till all plays were seen

All that Jazz
Come on, Kids, we’re gonna see the show
For the fifth time
We don’t have tickets but we need to go
Stand in this line
Hold my bag
I gotta stash that cash
Dont linger here
So I can make a dash
There’s enough for three
But that’s enough for me
And the rest
of
You!

Everyone a Little Bit Lacist
She’s a little bit racist
Well, we’re a little bit too
I guess we’re all a little bit racist
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do
But I guess it’s true
Between me and you
I think everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes
Doesn’t mean we go around committing hate crimes
Look around and you will find
No one’s really color blind
Maybe it’s a fact we all should face
Everyone makes judgments based on race

Wouldn’t it be Loverly – My Fair Lady 
All I want is a room somewhere
Always grounded when I swear
Raised solely by nanny care
Oh, wouldn’t it be motherly?
Eat your burgers and eat your chips
Dont you dare forge permission slips
Do chores to go on trips
Oh, wouldn’t it be motherly?
Oh, so motherly clearing out the nest completely clean
Finally, everyone’s eighteen!
Then why are they all still here?
Need a bathroom for me to pee
It’s quite important that no one see
But you would not agree
So who is really motherly?