Help! I Need Some Money

Full Context

Bm Bm/A

Help! I need some money!

G

Help! Ima didn’t give us any

E

Help! We know you have a twenty…

A

Help!

A C#m

When I was younger and even so today

F#m D G A

I needed you in every day and every way

A C#m

You hoped these days would pass and we won’t be needing you

A D G A

But now we want a dog and we won’t pick up its poo!

Bm

Hold my bike upright I can’t fall down

G

Crack a joke to turn around my frown

E

Show me how to swim so I won’t drown

A

Bushy please, please teach me!

A C#m

Well every day that’s passed you’ve made us feel secure

F#m D G A

For every problem you will always find a cure

A C#m

While we make a lot of noise and we never let you sleep

A D G A

Still you made us think, and we never will be sheep!

Bm

Why are we all white and you are brown?

G

Take me from the pool cause there’s a clown!

E

Teach me how to swim so I won’t drown

A

Bushy please, please teach me!

A C#m

So now we’re older you can listen ‘cause we’re wise

F#m D G A

Don’t bother Ima, she will still be chasing flies,

A C#m

But to be frank, there is nothing you can’t do

A D G A

You’re a genius and we all believe in you!

Bm

Hold my bike upright I can’t fall down

G

Crack a joke to turn around my frown

E

Show me how to swim so I won’t drown

A

Bushy please, please teach me!

Hold my bike upright I can’t fall down

Crack a joke to turn around my frown

Show me how to swim so I won’t drown

Bushy please, please teach me!

Twins יום הולדת לשנים

Full Context

תאומים – תרגם אמציה פורת

אני לא יודע למה זה אני זוכר עניין מסוים אחד שאחותי התאומה ואני התווכחנו עליו. הלוא במחלוקות ובהתנגחויות עשינו את שלנו יפה יוםיום. נושאי המחלוקת היו פשוטים ואוניברסליים מאין כמוהם: “הוא עשה את זה“, “היא התחילה“, “תורך היום“, “אמרת שתעשה אם אני אעשה“, “אני קוראת את זה עכשיו“, “לא את לא קוראת את זה עכשיו” – דברים של מה בכך שאין כמוהם לקטנוניוּת.מפעם לפעם היינו מעמידים בניסיון את עצביו של מבוגר ומניעים אותו לאבד את שלוות רוחו. זה היה גורר תֵיקוּ כפוי. לא אהבנו תֵיקוּיִים כפויים. היינו מקפיאים את הריב במועד ומפשירים אותו מיד עם צאתו של המבוגר החטטן מן הזירה. הכול היה נורמלי לחלוטין. מכל ההתנצחות וההתמקחות הזאת לא נשאר כל רושם, והכול נשכח והלך ככל שגדלנו. לכן מוזר שמחלוקת אחת כזאת נשארה חרוטה בזיכרוני: האם תאומים משלימים את מעגל חייהם יחד? האם הם מתים בעת ובעונה אחת? למה זה דבר ברור וטריביאלי כל כך, דווקא הוא ולא אחר לא נשכח? אולי מפני שבעיניו של תאוֹם השאלה אינה פשוטה כמו שהיא לכאורה.

Forward to “Not Much About Anything”

Full Context

It’s funny how “Not Much About Anything” turned out to be a “A lot About Absolutely Everything.” As a family that is always caught without a camera, without film, or as technology catches up with us, without batteries or a memory card, our past would have been left a distant blur, lost in the fog of the present. However, our memories go beyond non-existent albums. Our lives are recorded in letters, essays, and sometimes even a poem, leaving us with a memory card of our own.

Each piece of writing is a story in itself, weaved from beginning to end with a golden thread of intellect, sarcasm, wit and humor. More than that, it bursts with the laughter that echoes from our house. The endless love and support that embraced us all our lives linger between each sentence and hover over every paragraph. It turns out that it takes more to raising children than just “putting food on the table”. Raising children means molding human matter into an individual with morals, ethics, and opinions.

By now your dream of having your children hand your slippers to you when you get home probably seems like a distant fantasy, and you’ve gathered scientific proof that we’ll never feed the dog. We can attempt to deny it, but the entirety of our upbringing is documented in the following pages, and any claims we make will be proved wrong soon enough. You put the slippers on our feet and took care of the dog we begged to bring home. And yet… somehow our upbringing wasn’t a complete catastrophe, and we’ve managed to absorb quite a few life lessons.

Though we do not hold our pinkies out whilst we sip our tea, we do not slurp
or chew with mouths open. We always say thank you and we always say please; the antithesis to “The Thingamajig Book of Manners.”You can rest assured that we will never pick flowers, litter, set the table with the fork on the right, or let any car- push driver drive off un-thanked.

You have always provided us with the comfort of a support system which allows us to choose our own paths. You have given us the luxury to make mistakes. Surrounded by creativity, you have instilled in us the thirst for knowledge. But while you preach that one can never know enough, we still believe that you know everything. We have learned the value of hard work and self-fulfillment, but never at the expense of others because morality is not relative. There is nothing more important than being a good human being. As this compilation shows, among all the life lessons, we learned how to laugh until our sides hurt or the milk spurts from our mouths. It is best to think twice before taking a sip at our dinner table.

Please keep writing…

With love,

Imma, Fakuto, Suma,Osmo, and Tintin

Happy Birthday

Nostalgia ברכה עם מעט נוסטלגיה

Full Context

ליפתח

איך לברך במספר מילים

בלי לגלוש לזכרונות מייגעים

עד שנראה שנינו כמו זוג זקנים

אליהם יחדיו התחפשנו באחד הפורימים

לא אפליג בנוסטלגיה
ובכל זאת הרי אתה ובני ואודי
ומיכל ובועז וגם בולה הכלבה

כולנומאותה שכונה

אנירואה אתכם באותם המחוזות

הכי רחוקים שאליהם מגיעים הזכרונות

אז כשהזמן עוד עמד מלכת

העברנו שעות ארוכות בשחייה מפרכת ובסופה,
נקניקיה בלחמניה

או קרטיב בעשרה

וגם ברחוב רדק
ב-דיפרוסטינג אצל סבתא ובניקוי הספרייה

ששכרם כמה מטבעות והרבה גלידה

אח, איזה ימים אלה היו,
וטוב שהיו

אחרת עד היום היינו מושכים

ברנו 4 של אמציה את ההילוכים

אז לפני שאאחל זה הזמן להתנצל

על קורת עץ בגינה

שבלהט המשחק לפתע התעופפה

ואת אותה השן לעולם לא אוכל לתקן

ועל חוב שעדיין לא נסגר

לפחות עוד פעמים תריסר

את את ילקוטי החברים על גבי

לשאת במעלה הגדוד עברי

אך אין כמו זו הזדמנות חגיגית

לפרוע חוב ישן על עט צבעונית

שהתפרקה לגורמים בעודה חדשה

ולא היה בהישג ידי לקנות אחרת במקומה,

אז קצת באיחור אבל עם הרבה אהבה,

קבל אחת ממש דומה.

למשפחה שבך בתברכה ולך עצמך

מזל טוב מאחל לחגיגת היובל

אוהב אותך אחי ושרק תהיה לי בריא!

Boys’ Afternoon Out

I was back in Israel on a business trip, staying with Yeela in Jerusalem. My phone buzzed, it was Benny. We were friends since we were five years old.‘Are you up to a ride on my motorbike through Eastern Jerusalem to the Mount of Olives?’
‘Sure,’ I answered, not so sure at all. In the previous weeks two bulldozers operated by residents of Eastern Jerusalem drove into Israeli buses killing and wounding dozens of people. I tried to tell myself that Benny knew what he was doing, and if not at least he knew good doctors. He had just recovered from a breakthrough computer guided surgical reconstruction of his pelvis which he broke when he drove the motorbike into a traffic divider. If he was back in the driver’s seat who was I to cower out?
‘Where are you going?’ Yeela asked.
‘For a bike ride with Benny’
‘That’s nice, where is he picking you up?’
‘The number 15 bus station’
‘Did he say which station?’
‘He didn’t have to; it’s always been the one across the street.’
She munched happily on this tidbit of my childhood.
I went on to embellish the tale how the bus used to be the only mechanized means of transportation out of the neighborhood. A bus ride to see a movie downtown had to be setup during school hours because it did not qualify as reason enough for using the phone in one’s house. We would flock to the station which was just a pole planted at the curb, a square sign, with a red background, with the large black ‘15’ painted in the middle of a gray circle, showing the name of the bus company אגד (Eeged) painted white at the top and bottom of the sign. Back then the signs were as informative as a postage stamp. It would be years before someone had the insight to add route information so you could figure out where the bus was going. In those days route information was passed from father to son and from passenger to passenger – perhaps it was safer that way, lest the bus stop sign fall into the wrong hands…
By now the pole had been replaced by a modern metal frame supporting transparent plastic panels. Four plastic seats offered themselves with little enthusiasm. I preferred the curb. A foreign worker from the Far East joined me waiting to be picked up by a local contractor. He looked at me, probably thinking that I was the stranger.
Benny showed up. I fitted the helmet strap and off we went. We passed the museum of Islamic art and the president’s residence. Both were empty fields when our bus station was a pole. Unknown to the president his house stands atop a hammer I lost among the boulders, a few months before bulldozers and graders flattened the rocks, burying my hopes to ever recover my belonging. As we descended from the Belgian Consulate towards the King David Hotel Benny shared reflections on his recent accident.
‘You know If-tah’ he began, mispronouncing my name as all my childhood friends do. The way they pronounce my name has become a sure way to know when I first met people. ‘When you buy a motor bike you sign up for an accident…’ I could see where he was going, but had problems with his sense of inevitability – he seemed to be confusing between blind driving and blind karma. Driving without one’s eye glasses on a rainy night seemed pretty clear cut to me. We crossed the water shed, the imaginary line where water drops have to make up their mind whether they flow to the Mediterranean or the Dead Sea. Life philosophy switched to reviewing the recent projects of renovation of the historical buildings in the Mammilla compound east of the Jaffa gate. We crossed the former green line, driving right through an intersection where a concrete wall used to shield the number 15 bus route from Jordanian snipers on the Old City walls. Once over the line, part of me couldn’t help but thinking a little like a target does, but Benny seemed to be very comfortable as he weaved between the traffic jams opposite the Damascus Gate. When we reached the North Eest corner of the wall we descended to Wadi Joz and up the Mount of Olives to the vantage point outside the Inter Continental Hotel. Tourists were taking turns on a camel’s back to the joy of its owner who was charging valet parking fares for each rising and kneeling of the camel.
‘Do you want to grab some coffee at the hotel lounge or should we go into the Old City and look for place to eat?
I was feeling lucky, ‘let’s go into the Old City.’
We headed back along the ridge, through the village of A-Tur. Benny parked the bike on the sidewalk opposite the Damascus gate right next to a pair of merchants cooking meat on skewers, flavoring them with fumes from the exhaust pipes of passing cars. In the state of mind I was in I would have had no problem eating what they had to offer. We crossed through holes in the guard rails on both sides of the road and headed through the open market in to the gate, down the stone walkway of Souk Khan El Zeit, passed the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, crossed the Via Dolorosa, turned left into the cotton weaver’s market, found a huge empty restaurant, ordered, ate, paid and traced our footsteps back to the motorbike. I was surprised to see how calm things were. Did Benny know what he was doing?
He dropped me off opposite the number 15 bus stop. ‘Thanks, that was fun, it’s been so long’ I said. ‘How often do you do this?’
‘It’s been at least ten years since I’ve been to the Mount of Olives’ he answered.